A day in the life...

Lucy turned 1 a couple of weeks ago. I've been meaning to write about the experience. Actually that last sentence pretty much sums up the past 6 weeks of my life "I've been meaning to write about that". Oh well. Here is a day in the life of Lucy.

7ish in the morning:
Wake up (for the third or fourth time since going to sleep) and talk to the aquarium in the pack-n-play. When mom comes in excitedly dive into your blankets, then get up as quick as you can to show her how you can turn the light in the aquarium on and off. Ask to be picked up.

During diaper change lay perfectly still and babble angelically...until the diaper is completely off, then immediately flip over and make for the edge of the bed as quickly as possible. Stopping just short of falling to sit and flash mom a huge smile as you wait for her to pull you back to the blanket for a new diaper.

Play with mom's hair and hum while you gulp the liquid portion of breakfast as quickly as possible.

8ish in the morning:
Get out to the rest of the house and get excited about seeing anyone else who is home.

Head straight to the back door and BEG to be let outside (through pointing, clapping, grunting, and trying to reach the door handle)...you may even sign 'please', 'more', 'help', and blow kisses if REALLY desperate.

On a nice day go out on the back porch for second breakfast. Announce (non-verbally) that you want to sit in the stroller and eat off its tray.  Unless you decide you'd rather stand, in which case would mom please put your breakfast on the footrest of the stroller where you can reach it. Refuse to injest anything but cheerios, puffs, and pieces of wood or acorns.

Make mom smile by dancing to the sound of a bird singing. Watch the deer in the backyard.

Get in and out of your little red car. Several times. Want to be pushed in the little red car. Sing the whole time the car is moving...except when honking the horn, turning the key or pushing the lever.

Walk all over the porch. Practice sitting to go down steps. Go down all the steps you can find. Repeat (going up as necessary). Try to cross gravel barefoot. Decide that's not a good idea. Spread some gravel on the steps. Decide that doesn't look too good and quuickly brush it all off. Go find a big rock. Taste it. Bang it on the ground...take it to the chair and bang it on that. Throw it. See an ant. Try to squash it with your finger. Get taken away from the ants by mom. Scream about that.

10ish in the morning:
Go inside (with much wailing and writhing in protest) because after 2 hours mom is getting tired of playing on the back porch (a rather risky location requiring constant supervision).

Take some letters off the refrigerator and put them in the plant by the door. Go in the pantry and try to bite into the coffee containers. See the microwave (which is at eye level) and try to get the door open. Move some shoes around.

Protest when mom announces that it is naptime. Fuss half-heartedly all the way up the stairs  while rubbing eyes and burying face in blanket.

11ish: Fall asleep with hand tangled in mom's hair...or be put in bed to scream for a minute and a half...followed by half an hour of talking before keeling over unconscious.

12ish: Wake up and repeat morning diaper routine. Have lunch. If you are eating out make sure mom orders some form of soup and bread because those are your favorites and pretty much the only thing you will eat...besides puffs and cheerios.

1ish: Go to the park. Go down the slide a lot. Be nervous at first, but after 5 or 6 rides suddenly become very brave. Try to climb up the slide...for 10 minutes at a time (you are very determined) or until mom makes you stop.

Follow other children around and talk to them. Be doted on by 7 year old girls. Try to steal other toddlers' sippy cups and strollers. Charm other moms into sharing their child's puffs with you. Ride the dolphin. Ride the motorcycle. Ride the dolphin again. Chase birds without realizing you are walking/running without anyone's assistance. When you do realize it, immediately crouch down while you decide if it's worth the risk to keep chasing or if you should wave your arms for someone to come rescue you. It's usually more fun to keep going after the birds. Try to immitate all the bad behavior you see. Ignore your sippy cup and instead drink out of Gannan's HUGE cup and straw. Get mad when she finally takes it back. Refuse to wear a hat for more than 5 seconds.

3ish: Go home. Drink all 8 oz of the water in your sippy cup and eat a cracker on the way. Give a passionate speech to your reflection in the monkey-mirror. Fuss. Throw cup over side of carseat. Throw remains of cracker over side of carseat. Fuss. 

 Refuse to take an afternoon nap. After 45 minutes of screaming, fussing, talking, singing, talking, hollering, and playing get really excited when mom comes in exasperated. Play nicely with all the toys that make noise or can be shredded (like your own personal magazine). Bring mom books to read. Practice signing 'more' and turning pages. Identify curious George. Decide you are ready to go back outside to play on the back porch for a while. Repeat morning back porch routine until dinner time.

5ish: Realize you are STARVING to death but do NOT want ANYTHING solid. Or anything out of a cup. Unless it's a chocolate milkshake because you're pretty sure you tried one of those once and it was amazing. Except for the fact that it was cold.

6ish: Dinner. At the end of the prayer throw your hands up in the air for the 'Amen!'. Discover that you have hair on your head. Feel that for a few minutes. Smash all your food with your finger. If you can't poke a hole in it, it's not worth tasting. Want what's on everyone else's plate...until it touches your tray.

Drop foods you don't want over the side for the dog...except there is no dog. Eat some puffs and cheerios...and maybe a yogurt melt or two. Wave around a fork with a piece of melon on it. Slurp on the melon for a few minutes. Drop fork over the side. When the conversation gets boring squint your eyes at people and pretend to laugh. this usually makes them start laughing. Then they make faces at you. And funny noises.  Dinner is much more entertaining when they do that. Decide you have had enough of this and attempt to sweep the remaining food off your tray and onto the floor. Sign "finished". Get down and go on a scavenger hunt for lost food. Eat anything you find on the floor.

7ish: Bedtime. Want mom to be the one to hold you ALL day. Until she says it's bedtime. Then you want Da. Or Gannan. Or Bucket. Or anyone else who happens to be there and might be able to save you from Jammies. Fuss over getting ready for bed. You didn't have an afternoon nap after all. Fall asleep after nursing for 5 minutes.

8ish: Wake up because you are still hungry. Eat for another 20 minutes and go back to bed. Participate in some mild protest but give it up pretty quickly. Your blankets are nice and soft as it turns out.

Week 6, 7, and 8

Yes, I am soooo behind! So here's the reader's digest version:

Week 6: Slow, but not quite as slow as week 5 because now all of my stuff has to be sorted and packed for 1) a 4 day trip to Banner Elk. 2) a 4 day trip to Texas. 3) a 3 week trip to New Mexico and 4) a 5 week trip to Texas. Basically 2 months of stuff, that can fit in my car (with a carseat and a jogger) separated into easy-to-access bags for the shorter portions of my trip and 2 suitcases with 5 weeks worth of stuff to take on the airplane...Whew!

Week 7: Trip to Banner Elk!!! Lots of fun up in the mountains hanging out with best buhds I haven't seen in YEARS!!! (well, I hadn't seen most of them in years...) ..and getting to introduce Lucy to my friends before moving out west with her. Great way to spend week 7 and keep my mind off the fact that it is ALMOST time to go see my AMAZING husband graduate from boot camp!

Week 8: Mom flies into Charlotte from NM just to drive my car to Texas for me (so Lucy doesn't have to make the 21 hour drive) because she's completely AWESOME! Car gets packed and leaves. Anita and I hit the nail salon to get special pre-graduation pedicures...and then IT'S TIME TO GO!!!!!

Graduation: Lucy did awesome on the plane rides. Jason looked incredible in his uniform. I am so so so proud of him! It was one of the best 3-day weekends I've ever had. We just hung around, visited the river walk in San Antonio, and enjoyed each other's company. It was fabulous. I only got emotional once...Sunday...our last day together before he went to Tech school and I went to NM for a few weeks. At least this time we can talk on the phone for a little while every night...and we can skype.

Hopefully time will fly until we are all together again.

I know I can't wait.

Week 5

Chocolate chip cookies are kryptonite.

Making it to the halfway point is great! A huge accomplishment. A huge distance to have come. A huge relief...until the week after when you realize you still have 4 whole weeks to go and your weight loss plan has stalled...then time slows down...and you are happy things are going so well at boot camp but you find yourself losing your own motivation and wanting to skip exercise to eat chocolate and ice cream. ...and time slows down...so you make a list of things you need to do before you see him again.

...And the list becomes longer and longer until by the end of week 5 you realize you have less than 20 days left (2/3 of the way there!) and so much to do... and you hope time will return to it's original speed as you start checking things off and helping time keep moving forward.

So eventually day one of week 6 has rolled around and I have acquired an ID card and Tricare coverage as well as visitor passes to get everyone on base for graduation...and it seems like we might just make it after all.

Also, Lucy has learned to climb stairs and thinks it is the greatest adventure ever.

Week 4

Week 4 = stress overload --> Huge relief

Sunday was a pretty good day, Lucy and I went to church and later that evening to a church ice cream social. We mainly went because the house was empty and lonesome and I was getting super-stressed about the lack of response in all of our house advertising. It was at the house of a couple of church ladies (who have a beautiful back yard and patio - perfect for ice cream socials!) and they had made 5 (yes 5) different kinds of homemade ice cream along with cookies, lemon bars, cherry cheesecake bars and other sweet goodies. Since it would have been rude not to eat ANYTHING (& since EVERYTHING there was pure sugar) I tried little scoops of 2 different kinds of ice cream - they were delicious, but actually gave me a tummy ache (or that could have been the 30 minutes of running Lucy around after Noah - her 3 year old buddy- after eating said ice cream...but at least I worked it off!)

Monday I called Sondra back. She had been interested in renting but couldn't afford our mortgage. I asked her if she would like to come look at the house because we would be willing to lower the price to her range. (We figured better to lose $50/month on the house than $800/month!). She did and loved it and wanted to rent. I was pretty enthusiastic too, but after she left I started having 2nd thoughts. Single mom, 2 kids, 1 on the way, steady job, but no savings and no bank account...I wasn't sure I should take the risk, as much as I wanted to get the house rented and help her out...and I had to make the decision on my own. I might have binged on diet root beer and hyperventilated a little. If we were going to make a bad decision I would MUCH rather it was only HALF my fault. Seriously missing my husband!!!

I put together a very thorough lease and prayed that if she wasn't the renter for us that God would make it really clear to her that she couldn't handle the lease agreement.

Tuesday she brought her mom to show her the house and I felt much better. Her mom and dad were retired Air Force with enough money and sense to help her out if she needs it. We went over the lease - she was good with everything so we signed, she handed over the security deposit, I had an extra key made and viola! Rented house!

Wednesday Lucy and I headed back to Charlotte. Much relieved!

The rest of the week was filled with getting back into the workout routine I abandoned while in WV, being thankful I didn't have to worry about the house anymore, calling various companies and cancelling things, switching things over, following up on things...general admin-type stuff related to running and renting a house, visiting with friends, battling a headache, taking care of Lucy, and NOT worrying about the house!

At one point we got to have a very short (official-type)conversation with Jason when he needed some info for his security clearance. That was fun. Now we have made it to our 5th sunday (of 8!) and are SOOO excited that there are only 3 Sundays left!

Waiting for our weekly phone call - hoping it's tonight!

Week 3

Week 3 = much better! (but eventful, so this is a kind of long post)

The sermon Sunday was about anxiety and worry...and not doing them. He had some really good quotes, two of them I found particularly applicable were "worry is just down payment on a problem you may never have" and "Worry does not rid tomorrow of it's sorrow, it robs today of it's strength" (that one might be paraphrased a bit)....and of course there were the Bible verses about not being anxious about anything...and God clothing the lilies and the sparrows, how much more does he love you? ...Yeah, a pretty convicting sermon after last week. The one really helpful bit was about how worship is sort of the antidote to worry - when worship goes up, worry comes down. So I tried it...dusting off old praise and worship songs I barely remembered from high school. It seemed to be helping.

Then Jason called!

It was the first positive-sounding call I've gotten from him! ...and it turned out all my worrying really was for nothing because he actually had a pretty good week and even got a compliment from his Training Instructor! Hooray!!! I immediately felt about 40 lbs lighter and lost the desire to curl up on the couch with a soft blanket and giant blizzard, so Lucy and I went for a happy walk.

He asked for prayer because week 3 was supposed to be hell week (although I couldn't imagine it being worse than the first 2 weeks)! I asked for prayer too because I was headed to WV with Lucy to have another open house and try (desperately) to get a renter or buyer before August.

Wednesday:
We headed North. It was a pretty good trip - only about 15 minutes of serious crying (on Lucy's part, not mine) out of the 4 hr drive. We went straight to postnet, printed flyers, went downtown, walked all over trying to find places to put them up (me carrying Lucy since she wasn't interested in a stroller after all that driving), then headed for walmart to pick up some dinner stuff and the storage units to get the air mattress, some bedding, and the microwave out.

Bugs!
By the time we got to the storage units I was pretty exhausted and Lucy was getting hungry and ready to move around on her own. The first unit we opened had the air mattress right there - Hooray. Covered in spiderwebs and at least 2 dozen tiny baby (black) spiders - Yuck!. Too small to tell if they're black widows....I get the air mattress (because the prospect of sleeping on just the floor all week is really unappealing) but decide against the bedding - what if that's full of spiders too? On to the second storage unit for the microwave (which is also right in front)...but as I try to get it I am attacked by wasps. I ran away. I did not scream...although by this time Lucy was. Apparently the wasps had built a nest in the track of our door so when I moved it they got very upset. Eventually I got the microwave, got the door shut and locked and we headed home (no stings, thankfully). Home was nice - but it smelled like an empty house. I killed a few small spiders trying to make homes in the corners...and about 5 large ants in the kitchen...every time I went in there! I must have killed almost 50 by the end of the week. We even had ant traps...and I had swept, mopped, and cloroxed everything before we left. What's the deal? THEN I brought in our 2 open house signs from last time to update the dates on them. A couple of giant (over an inch long) earwigs crawled out of the insides and headed for Lucy. I scooped her up and whacked at them with my shoe. She laughed hysterically. Finally it was bedtime. I decided to brave the air mattress after examining it VERY carefully for baby spiders and finding none.

Thursday: Fumes
Among other things that day, I rented a carpet shampoo-er from Lowes and did the carpets...while holding Lucy who was terrified of the noise unless she was in my arms. That was a workout. When I was done Lucy and I left the house for several hours so it could air out. Apparently it wasn't long enough. We came back at bedtime and it was still pretty strong but what were we going to do? I got Lucy ready for bed and started feeding her. After we had been in the house about 45 minutes she stopped eating and  became very lethargic, unresponsive, limp, and a little twitchy (like when she's dreaming, but her eyes were wide open and would follow my hand in front of her face...barely)...very scary. After a few minutes I decided it had to be the fumes and took her outside. She revived in a little bit and spit up all over me (rare for her these days). I was kind of freaking out. What were we going to do if we couldn't stay in the house? We had 0 money, no internet, and no phone numbers...and it was after 8:30 by that point. Mom and Dad called and when they heard about Lucy they insisted we go to a hotel for 2 nights - on them. I threw together our stuff, packed up the pack-n-play and loaded Lucy in the car. We tried the Holiday Inn: no room. The Hampton Inn: no room. The Quality Inn: no room. The Fairfield Inn: no room. It's a small town and I was starting to have an inkling of how Mary must have felt in Bethleham... (and poor Lu was being a trooper, being dragged in and out of carseat and hotel after hotel.) Finally we tried the Super 8 motel. There were 3 rooms available and none of them were smoking, hooray! by that time it was well after 9 so I got Lucy down and crashed myself.

Friday:
A room opened up at the Fairfield for tonight. We checked in at 3 (MUCH nicer room) I took a shower, let Lucy play in the bathtub and got ready for our first open house. No one came. We did have one person call but the rent was too expensive and she couldn't afford it. Jason got paid which was Super exciting. We went back to the hotel and I looked forward to a good night's sleep...Lucy had other plans and woke up (apparently starving) 6 times between 8:30pm and 7:00am. *sigh* so much for the awesome comfy bed!

Saturday:
2nd open house. Fumes were pretty much gone so we shouldn't have any more trouble sleeping there. Lucy and I wait and wait and wait...no one comes. Pretty depressing....BUT...

 Jason calls!!! Yay!!! Another good week for him. Thank you God!!! (better than mine, actually from the sound of it). We discuss renting the house for less than the mortgage because having to pay $50-$60/month is better than having to pay $800/month. If no one comes or calls I'll call the lady from yesterday back and see if she'd be interested in a lower price.

Conclusion:
The diet pretty much went out the window. I've been living off of cheerios, bananas, lean cuisine, and peanut butter cookies. Oops. I missed Jason more this week than I've ever missed him. I mean, I always miss him when he's not around, but for the most part, I'm pretty good at handling life alone with Lucy. This week life would have been infinitely easier with another pair of hands (particularly a pair of hands that didn't mind bugs) and a shoulder to lean on...and another body so I didn't have to get Lu in and out of her carseat at every 5 min. stop. I thought I was doing terriblly at the whole independent military wife thing, until I realized that I handled it all. I didn't cry (although I wanted to) I didn't scream (although I came close)...and I wasn't graceful about everything (but really, who cares?). We did it. We made it through the week without falling apart. Jason is doing well and I am sooo proud of him. ....and I soooooo appreciate him and soooo miss him.

We'll see how week 4 goes...and if I am successful with the house.

Week 2

Week 2 = horrible. Jason was permitted a phone call on Monday (July 4th) which was unexpected and exciting. I have never heard him sound so discouraged and down on himself - being continually yelled at and told that he was a stupid screw-up who would never do anything right sounded like it was getting to him. Also, he had been forced to stay up all night previously writing a 6 page paper. Who expects to have to write papers in boot camp??? So he was running on 2 hrs. of sleep and I knew that was making everything sound worse. Still, I worried excessively about how miserable Jason was, about whether or not I had gotten him in trouble when I (without thinking) wrote a note on the outside of an envelope, about if things would ever improve...we'll see when his next phone call comes...if they let him call this weekend.

I really hate this week. *sigh*

Week 1

So, we have made it through 0 week and now Week 1 is also drawing to a close...

They said that the trainees would be allowed one 15 minute phone call per week and that it would most likely fall on a Saturday or Sunday, but the times were completely erratic so those of us at home should be available from 6am to midnight both days...just in case. Jason had already made one phone call - the one that was about 3 minutes long where he read the letter that gave me his address. I was desperately hoping that it did not count as his call for the week.

By midnight Sunday I knew it must have. He wasn't going to call. Monday began the official 'Week 1'.

I tried to keep busy. I went to visit the lovely Erin Hodge and Co. Saw an old friend and made a new one. I tried to  convince myself -and let others convince me- that Jason didn't really need to hear my voice - he was probably doing just fine without me...

We set up a little swimming pool and let Lucy try it out. She was much more entertained by playing naked on her towel. Thursday I took her to Birkdale Commons to play in the fountain and go to Barnes and Noble to look at all the touch-n-feel books. On the way I almost had to pull over because my eyes were filled with tears. We had made this trip right before Jason left and I sooo wished he was there with us again. On a happy note: We found a Star Wars ABC's board book at B&N.

Thursday night as I tried to put Lucy down (and she refused to cooperate) the phone rang. I looked down and saw Jason's picture on my cell! Hooray! Totally unexpected! I was shaking through the whole conversation and trying not to cry (If I cry I can't talk so that wouldn't be very useful). He sounded pretty rough - said there was lots of yelling but he had managed to not be singled out much. He was staying hydrated, getting used to the eating schedule (waaay different from his old one), getting fast at making his bed with hospital corners, and missing us so much.

Their TI is exceptionally tough and had already assigned them levels of responsibility usually reserved for the 4th week. That will probably end up good once they get the hang of everything, but right now it's causing a lot of stress because added responsibility on top of EVERYTHING being completely new is a LOT to learn and tons of guys are getting yelled at a lot for making mistakes.

Jason is in charge of scheduling for his whole flight, and checking people in and out. Talk about a detail-oriented and stressful job...but he will learn and be great at it I have full confidence in him.

He says he is glad he has Lucy and me as motivation, otherwise he would just want to come home now. I could hear the emotion in his voice when he talked about wishing he could just hold and play with Lucy in person. It broke my heart. I hate being helpless and I have never felt it so strongly. My husband, whom I love with all my heart, is miserable and I can't do a thing for him. He has offered me his shoulder to cry on countless times, and now when he needs me I can't offer anything but a few minutes of my voice and a few letters and pictures. I feel like he's pulling 90% of the load and I'm a cripple. *sigh* but someone has to take care of Lucy and worry about money and bills and selling the house...which is important too.

Friday was my birthday...My 30th. Lucy, Grandbob, Nina, and I went to Outback for dinner. I had steak. I got a new digital camera from my family and had fun trying it out. When we got home there was an edible arrangement and seriously chocolate cake. I bent (broke) my no sugar rule - Since it was my birthday. I was on the verge of being emotional all day, but managed to refrain until I went to bed.

Saturday we went to the mall - Bob and Anita gave me a few gift cards and I had a lot of fun spending them and hitting a big sale at The Children's Place with Anita while Bob walked around the mall with Lucy. Also, my knees decided that running was absolutely out of the question... for the rest of my life (we are talking excruciating pain)...so One day after my 30th birthday I went to Target for new insoles for my shoes, flax seed oil, and glucosamine. That was a bit depressing, but hopefully they help.

Tomorrow is Sunday. The 2nd of 8. Since Jason got to call on Thursday I am not expecting another call this weekend...although I will carry my phone at all times...just in case.

Please God, make time go by faster!