Yes, I am soooo behind! So here's the reader's digest version:
Week 6: Slow, but not quite as slow as week 5 because now all of my stuff has to be sorted and packed for 1) a 4 day trip to Banner Elk. 2) a 4 day trip to Texas. 3) a 3 week trip to New Mexico and 4) a 5 week trip to Texas. Basically 2 months of stuff, that can fit in my car (with a carseat and a jogger) separated into easy-to-access bags for the shorter portions of my trip and 2 suitcases with 5 weeks worth of stuff to take on the airplane...Whew!
Week 7: Trip to Banner Elk!!! Lots of fun up in the mountains hanging out with best buhds I haven't seen in YEARS!!! (well, I hadn't seen most of them in years...) ..and getting to introduce Lucy to my friends before moving out west with her. Great way to spend week 7 and keep my mind off the fact that it is ALMOST time to go see my AMAZING husband graduate from boot camp!
Week 8: Mom flies into Charlotte from NM just to drive my car to Texas for me (so Lucy doesn't have to make the 21 hour drive) because she's completely AWESOME! Car gets packed and leaves. Anita and I hit the nail salon to get special pre-graduation pedicures...and then IT'S TIME TO GO!!!!!
Graduation: Lucy did awesome on the plane rides. Jason looked incredible in his uniform. I am so so so proud of him! It was one of the best 3-day weekends I've ever had. We just hung around, visited the river walk in San Antonio, and enjoyed each other's company. It was fabulous. I only got emotional once...Sunday...our last day together before he went to Tech school and I went to NM for a few weeks. At least this time we can talk on the phone for a little while every night...and we can skype.
Hopefully time will fly until we are all together again.
I know I can't wait.
Showing posts with label Jason. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jason. Show all posts
Saturday, September 3, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Week 3
Week 3 = much better! (but eventful, so this is a kind of long post)
The sermon Sunday was about anxiety and worry...and not doing them. He had some really good quotes, two of them I found particularly applicable were "worry is just down payment on a problem you may never have" and "Worry does not rid tomorrow of it's sorrow, it robs today of it's strength" (that one might be paraphrased a bit)....and of course there were the Bible verses about not being anxious about anything...and God clothing the lilies and the sparrows, how much more does he love you? ...Yeah, a pretty convicting sermon after last week. The one really helpful bit was about how worship is sort of the antidote to worry - when worship goes up, worry comes down. So I tried it...dusting off old praise and worship songs I barely remembered from high school. It seemed to be helping.
Then Jason called!
It was the first positive-sounding call I've gotten from him! ...and it turned out all my worrying really was for nothing because he actually had a pretty good week and even got a compliment from his Training Instructor! Hooray!!! I immediately felt about 40 lbs lighter and lost the desire to curl up on the couch with a soft blanket and giant blizzard, so Lucy and I went for a happy walk.
He asked for prayer because week 3 was supposed to be hell week (although I couldn't imagine it being worse than the first 2 weeks)! I asked for prayer too because I was headed to WV with Lucy to have another open house and try (desperately) to get a renter or buyer before August.
Wednesday:
We headed North. It was a pretty good trip - only about 15 minutes of serious crying (on Lucy's part, not mine) out of the 4 hr drive. We went straight to postnet, printed flyers, went downtown, walked all over trying to find places to put them up (me carrying Lucy since she wasn't interested in a stroller after all that driving), then headed for walmart to pick up some dinner stuff and the storage units to get the air mattress, some bedding, and the microwave out.
Bugs!
By the time we got to the storage units I was pretty exhausted and Lucy was getting hungry and ready to move around on her own. The first unit we opened had the air mattress right there - Hooray. Covered in spiderwebs and at least 2 dozen tiny baby (black) spiders - Yuck!. Too small to tell if they're black widows....I get the air mattress (because the prospect of sleeping on just the floor all week is really unappealing) but decide against the bedding - what if that's full of spiders too? On to the second storage unit for the microwave (which is also right in front)...but as I try to get it I am attacked by wasps. I ran away. I did not scream...although by this time Lucy was. Apparently the wasps had built a nest in the track of our door so when I moved it they got very upset. Eventually I got the microwave, got the door shut and locked and we headed home (no stings, thankfully). Home was nice - but it smelled like an empty house. I killed a few small spiders trying to make homes in the corners...and about 5 large ants in the kitchen...every time I went in there! I must have killed almost 50 by the end of the week. We even had ant traps...and I had swept, mopped, and cloroxed everything before we left. What's the deal? THEN I brought in our 2 open house signs from last time to update the dates on them. A couple of giant (over an inch long) earwigs crawled out of the insides and headed for Lucy. I scooped her up and whacked at them with my shoe. She laughed hysterically. Finally it was bedtime. I decided to brave the air mattress after examining it VERY carefully for baby spiders and finding none.
Thursday: Fumes
Among other things that day, I rented a carpet shampoo-er from Lowes and did the carpets...while holding Lucy who was terrified of the noise unless she was in my arms. That was a workout. When I was done Lucy and I left the house for several hours so it could air out. Apparently it wasn't long enough. We came back at bedtime and it was still pretty strong but what were we going to do? I got Lucy ready for bed and started feeding her. After we had been in the house about 45 minutes she stopped eating and became very lethargic, unresponsive, limp, and a little twitchy (like when she's dreaming, but her eyes were wide open and would follow my hand in front of her face...barely)...very scary. After a few minutes I decided it had to be the fumes and took her outside. She revived in a little bit and spit up all over me (rare for her these days). I was kind of freaking out. What were we going to do if we couldn't stay in the house? We had 0 money, no internet, and no phone numbers...and it was after 8:30 by that point. Mom and Dad called and when they heard about Lucy they insisted we go to a hotel for 2 nights - on them. I threw together our stuff, packed up the pack-n-play and loaded Lucy in the car. We tried the Holiday Inn: no room. The Hampton Inn: no room. The Quality Inn: no room. The Fairfield Inn: no room. It's a small town and I was starting to have an inkling of how Mary must have felt in Bethleham... (and poor Lu was being a trooper, being dragged in and out of carseat and hotel after hotel.) Finally we tried the Super 8 motel. There were 3 rooms available and none of them were smoking, hooray! by that time it was well after 9 so I got Lucy down and crashed myself.
Friday:
A room opened up at the Fairfield for tonight. We checked in at 3 (MUCH nicer room) I took a shower, let Lucy play in the bathtub and got ready for our first open house. No one came. We did have one person call but the rent was too expensive and she couldn't afford it. Jason got paid which was Super exciting. We went back to the hotel and I looked forward to a good night's sleep...Lucy had other plans and woke up (apparently starving) 6 times between 8:30pm and 7:00am. *sigh* so much for the awesome comfy bed!
Saturday:
2nd open house. Fumes were pretty much gone so we shouldn't have any more trouble sleeping there. Lucy and I wait and wait and wait...no one comes. Pretty depressing....BUT...
Jason calls!!! Yay!!! Another good week for him. Thank you God!!! (better than mine, actually from the sound of it). We discuss renting the house for less than the mortgage because having to pay $50-$60/month is better than having to pay $800/month. If no one comes or calls I'll call the lady from yesterday back and see if she'd be interested in a lower price.
Conclusion:
The diet pretty much went out the window. I've been living off of cheerios, bananas, lean cuisine, and peanut butter cookies. Oops. I missed Jason more this week than I've ever missed him. I mean, I always miss him when he's not around, but for the most part, I'm pretty good at handling life alone with Lucy. This week life would have been infinitely easier with another pair of hands (particularly a pair of hands that didn't mind bugs) and a shoulder to lean on...and another body so I didn't have to get Lu in and out of her carseat at every 5 min. stop. I thought I was doing terriblly at the whole independent military wife thing, until I realized that I handled it all. I didn't cry (although I wanted to) I didn't scream (although I came close)...and I wasn't graceful about everything (but really, who cares?). We did it. We made it through the week without falling apart. Jason is doing well and I am sooo proud of him. ....and I soooooo appreciate him and soooo miss him.
We'll see how week 4 goes...and if I am successful with the house.
The sermon Sunday was about anxiety and worry...and not doing them. He had some really good quotes, two of them I found particularly applicable were "worry is just down payment on a problem you may never have" and "Worry does not rid tomorrow of it's sorrow, it robs today of it's strength" (that one might be paraphrased a bit)....and of course there were the Bible verses about not being anxious about anything...and God clothing the lilies and the sparrows, how much more does he love you? ...Yeah, a pretty convicting sermon after last week. The one really helpful bit was about how worship is sort of the antidote to worry - when worship goes up, worry comes down. So I tried it...dusting off old praise and worship songs I barely remembered from high school. It seemed to be helping.
Then Jason called!
It was the first positive-sounding call I've gotten from him! ...and it turned out all my worrying really was for nothing because he actually had a pretty good week and even got a compliment from his Training Instructor! Hooray!!! I immediately felt about 40 lbs lighter and lost the desire to curl up on the couch with a soft blanket and giant blizzard, so Lucy and I went for a happy walk.
He asked for prayer because week 3 was supposed to be hell week (although I couldn't imagine it being worse than the first 2 weeks)! I asked for prayer too because I was headed to WV with Lucy to have another open house and try (desperately) to get a renter or buyer before August.
Wednesday:
We headed North. It was a pretty good trip - only about 15 minutes of serious crying (on Lucy's part, not mine) out of the 4 hr drive. We went straight to postnet, printed flyers, went downtown, walked all over trying to find places to put them up (me carrying Lucy since she wasn't interested in a stroller after all that driving), then headed for walmart to pick up some dinner stuff and the storage units to get the air mattress, some bedding, and the microwave out.
Bugs!
By the time we got to the storage units I was pretty exhausted and Lucy was getting hungry and ready to move around on her own. The first unit we opened had the air mattress right there - Hooray. Covered in spiderwebs and at least 2 dozen tiny baby (black) spiders - Yuck!. Too small to tell if they're black widows....I get the air mattress (because the prospect of sleeping on just the floor all week is really unappealing) but decide against the bedding - what if that's full of spiders too? On to the second storage unit for the microwave (which is also right in front)...but as I try to get it I am attacked by wasps. I ran away. I did not scream...although by this time Lucy was. Apparently the wasps had built a nest in the track of our door so when I moved it they got very upset. Eventually I got the microwave, got the door shut and locked and we headed home (no stings, thankfully). Home was nice - but it smelled like an empty house. I killed a few small spiders trying to make homes in the corners...and about 5 large ants in the kitchen...every time I went in there! I must have killed almost 50 by the end of the week. We even had ant traps...and I had swept, mopped, and cloroxed everything before we left. What's the deal? THEN I brought in our 2 open house signs from last time to update the dates on them. A couple of giant (over an inch long) earwigs crawled out of the insides and headed for Lucy. I scooped her up and whacked at them with my shoe. She laughed hysterically. Finally it was bedtime. I decided to brave the air mattress after examining it VERY carefully for baby spiders and finding none.
Thursday: Fumes
Among other things that day, I rented a carpet shampoo-er from Lowes and did the carpets...while holding Lucy who was terrified of the noise unless she was in my arms. That was a workout. When I was done Lucy and I left the house for several hours so it could air out. Apparently it wasn't long enough. We came back at bedtime and it was still pretty strong but what were we going to do? I got Lucy ready for bed and started feeding her. After we had been in the house about 45 minutes she stopped eating and became very lethargic, unresponsive, limp, and a little twitchy (like when she's dreaming, but her eyes were wide open and would follow my hand in front of her face...barely)...very scary. After a few minutes I decided it had to be the fumes and took her outside. She revived in a little bit and spit up all over me (rare for her these days). I was kind of freaking out. What were we going to do if we couldn't stay in the house? We had 0 money, no internet, and no phone numbers...and it was after 8:30 by that point. Mom and Dad called and when they heard about Lucy they insisted we go to a hotel for 2 nights - on them. I threw together our stuff, packed up the pack-n-play and loaded Lucy in the car. We tried the Holiday Inn: no room. The Hampton Inn: no room. The Quality Inn: no room. The Fairfield Inn: no room. It's a small town and I was starting to have an inkling of how Mary must have felt in Bethleham... (and poor Lu was being a trooper, being dragged in and out of carseat and hotel after hotel.) Finally we tried the Super 8 motel. There were 3 rooms available and none of them were smoking, hooray! by that time it was well after 9 so I got Lucy down and crashed myself.
Friday:
A room opened up at the Fairfield for tonight. We checked in at 3 (MUCH nicer room) I took a shower, let Lucy play in the bathtub and got ready for our first open house. No one came. We did have one person call but the rent was too expensive and she couldn't afford it. Jason got paid which was Super exciting. We went back to the hotel and I looked forward to a good night's sleep...Lucy had other plans and woke up (apparently starving) 6 times between 8:30pm and 7:00am. *sigh* so much for the awesome comfy bed!
Saturday:
2nd open house. Fumes were pretty much gone so we shouldn't have any more trouble sleeping there. Lucy and I wait and wait and wait...no one comes. Pretty depressing....BUT...
Jason calls!!! Yay!!! Another good week for him. Thank you God!!! (better than mine, actually from the sound of it). We discuss renting the house for less than the mortgage because having to pay $50-$60/month is better than having to pay $800/month. If no one comes or calls I'll call the lady from yesterday back and see if she'd be interested in a lower price.
Conclusion:
The diet pretty much went out the window. I've been living off of cheerios, bananas, lean cuisine, and peanut butter cookies. Oops. I missed Jason more this week than I've ever missed him. I mean, I always miss him when he's not around, but for the most part, I'm pretty good at handling life alone with Lucy. This week life would have been infinitely easier with another pair of hands (particularly a pair of hands that didn't mind bugs) and a shoulder to lean on...and another body so I didn't have to get Lu in and out of her carseat at every 5 min. stop. I thought I was doing terriblly at the whole independent military wife thing, until I realized that I handled it all. I didn't cry (although I wanted to) I didn't scream (although I came close)...and I wasn't graceful about everything (but really, who cares?). We did it. We made it through the week without falling apart. Jason is doing well and I am sooo proud of him. ....and I soooooo appreciate him and soooo miss him.
We'll see how week 4 goes...and if I am successful with the house.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Week 1
So, we have made it through 0 week and now Week 1 is also drawing to a close...
They said that the trainees would be allowed one 15 minute phone call per week and that it would most likely fall on a Saturday or Sunday, but the times were completely erratic so those of us at home should be available from 6am to midnight both days...just in case. Jason had already made one phone call - the one that was about 3 minutes long where he read the letter that gave me his address. I was desperately hoping that it did not count as his call for the week.
By midnight Sunday I knew it must have. He wasn't going to call. Monday began the official 'Week 1'.
I tried to keep busy. I went to visit the lovely Erin Hodge and Co. Saw an old friend and made a new one. I tried to convince myself -and let others convince me- that Jason didn't really need to hear my voice - he was probably doing just fine without me...
We set up a little swimming pool and let Lucy try it out. She was much more entertained by playing naked on her towel. Thursday I took her to Birkdale Commons to play in the fountain and go to Barnes and Noble to look at all the touch-n-feel books. On the way I almost had to pull over because my eyes were filled with tears. We had made this trip right before Jason left and I sooo wished he was there with us again. On a happy note: We found a Star Wars ABC's board book at B&N.
Thursday night as I tried to put Lucy down (and she refused to cooperate) the phone rang. I looked down and saw Jason's picture on my cell! Hooray! Totally unexpected! I was shaking through the whole conversation and trying not to cry (If I cry I can't talk so that wouldn't be very useful). He sounded pretty rough - said there was lots of yelling but he had managed to not be singled out much. He was staying hydrated, getting used to the eating schedule (waaay different from his old one), getting fast at making his bed with hospital corners, and missing us so much.
Their TI is exceptionally tough and had already assigned them levels of responsibility usually reserved for the 4th week. That will probably end up good once they get the hang of everything, but right now it's causing a lot of stress because added responsibility on top of EVERYTHING being completely new is a LOT to learn and tons of guys are getting yelled at a lot for making mistakes.
Jason is in charge of scheduling for his whole flight, and checking people in and out. Talk about a detail-oriented and stressful job...but he will learn and be great at it I have full confidence in him.
He says he is glad he has Lucy and me as motivation, otherwise he would just want to come home now. I could hear the emotion in his voice when he talked about wishing he could just hold and play with Lucy in person. It broke my heart. I hate being helpless and I have never felt it so strongly. My husband, whom I love with all my heart, is miserable and I can't do a thing for him. He has offered me his shoulder to cry on countless times, and now when he needs me I can't offer anything but a few minutes of my voice and a few letters and pictures. I feel like he's pulling 90% of the load and I'm a cripple. *sigh* but someone has to take care of Lucy and worry about money and bills and selling the house...which is important too.
Friday was my birthday...My 30th. Lucy, Grandbob, Nina, and I went to Outback for dinner. I had steak. I got a new digital camera from my family and had fun trying it out. When we got home there was an edible arrangement and seriously chocolate cake. I bent (broke) my no sugar rule - Since it was my birthday. I was on the verge of being emotional all day, but managed to refrain until I went to bed.
Saturday we went to the mall - Bob and Anita gave me a few gift cards and I had a lot of fun spending them and hitting a big sale at The Children's Place with Anita while Bob walked around the mall with Lucy. Also, my knees decided that running was absolutely out of the question... for the rest of my life (we are talking excruciating pain)...so One day after my 30th birthday I went to Target for new insoles for my shoes, flax seed oil, and glucosamine. That was a bit depressing, but hopefully they help.
Tomorrow is Sunday. The 2nd of 8. Since Jason got to call on Thursday I am not expecting another call this weekend...although I will carry my phone at all times...just in case.
Please God, make time go by faster!
They said that the trainees would be allowed one 15 minute phone call per week and that it would most likely fall on a Saturday or Sunday, but the times were completely erratic so those of us at home should be available from 6am to midnight both days...just in case. Jason had already made one phone call - the one that was about 3 minutes long where he read the letter that gave me his address. I was desperately hoping that it did not count as his call for the week.
By midnight Sunday I knew it must have. He wasn't going to call. Monday began the official 'Week 1'.
I tried to keep busy. I went to visit the lovely Erin Hodge and Co. Saw an old friend and made a new one. I tried to convince myself -and let others convince me- that Jason didn't really need to hear my voice - he was probably doing just fine without me...
We set up a little swimming pool and let Lucy try it out. She was much more entertained by playing naked on her towel. Thursday I took her to Birkdale Commons to play in the fountain and go to Barnes and Noble to look at all the touch-n-feel books. On the way I almost had to pull over because my eyes were filled with tears. We had made this trip right before Jason left and I sooo wished he was there with us again. On a happy note: We found a Star Wars ABC's board book at B&N.
Thursday night as I tried to put Lucy down (and she refused to cooperate) the phone rang. I looked down and saw Jason's picture on my cell! Hooray! Totally unexpected! I was shaking through the whole conversation and trying not to cry (If I cry I can't talk so that wouldn't be very useful). He sounded pretty rough - said there was lots of yelling but he had managed to not be singled out much. He was staying hydrated, getting used to the eating schedule (waaay different from his old one), getting fast at making his bed with hospital corners, and missing us so much.
Their TI is exceptionally tough and had already assigned them levels of responsibility usually reserved for the 4th week. That will probably end up good once they get the hang of everything, but right now it's causing a lot of stress because added responsibility on top of EVERYTHING being completely new is a LOT to learn and tons of guys are getting yelled at a lot for making mistakes.
Jason is in charge of scheduling for his whole flight, and checking people in and out. Talk about a detail-oriented and stressful job...but he will learn and be great at it I have full confidence in him.
He says he is glad he has Lucy and me as motivation, otherwise he would just want to come home now. I could hear the emotion in his voice when he talked about wishing he could just hold and play with Lucy in person. It broke my heart. I hate being helpless and I have never felt it so strongly. My husband, whom I love with all my heart, is miserable and I can't do a thing for him. He has offered me his shoulder to cry on countless times, and now when he needs me I can't offer anything but a few minutes of my voice and a few letters and pictures. I feel like he's pulling 90% of the load and I'm a cripple. *sigh* but someone has to take care of Lucy and worry about money and bills and selling the house...which is important too.
Friday was my birthday...My 30th. Lucy, Grandbob, Nina, and I went to Outback for dinner. I had steak. I got a new digital camera from my family and had fun trying it out. When we got home there was an edible arrangement and seriously chocolate cake. I bent (broke) my no sugar rule - Since it was my birthday. I was on the verge of being emotional all day, but managed to refrain until I went to bed.
Saturday we went to the mall - Bob and Anita gave me a few gift cards and I had a lot of fun spending them and hitting a big sale at The Children's Place with Anita while Bob walked around the mall with Lucy. Also, my knees decided that running was absolutely out of the question... for the rest of my life (we are talking excruciating pain)...so One day after my 30th birthday I went to Target for new insoles for my shoes, flax seed oil, and glucosamine. That was a bit depressing, but hopefully they help.
Tomorrow is Sunday. The 2nd of 8. Since Jason got to call on Thursday I am not expecting another call this weekend...although I will carry my phone at all times...just in case.
Please God, make time go by faster!
Monday, June 27, 2011
0 Week
AF basic training is 8 1/2 weeks long. The first week is called 0 week. It's the shortest, but it may be the hardest - for both the trainees and the families they left behind.
First you get to watch them being sworn in, then you get to say goodbye. Jason didn't drag it out waving and stuff, just a hug and a kiss. As I walked toward the door I turned and saw him walking away toward the back of the building. I waved anyway and wondered where he was going...and if he had something to do or if he just didn't want to get emotional in front of us and everyone else.
Then came the drive home alone, with the baby asleep in the back, and the waiting...waiting for the phone call that tells you he made it, and the one that tells you where to send your letters. Two calls came that night. The first was from the airport saying he had arrived in San Antonio. The second was to say he was being processed and would call later with an address. It was 59 seconds long. He sounded a little rough but he had been up since 5:45am and it was now after 10pm. I prayed they would let him sleep soon. I struggled to stay awake until 1am (midnight his time) but no other calls came that night.
Although I kept a pen and paper in my pocket at all times and the phone practically glued to my hand the magic call with his address didn't come until late afternoon 2 days later. It hardly sounded like Jason - he didn't get to talk, only read a letter that started out "Hello, this is Trainee Adams calling with information on how to contact me. Please find a pen and paper quickly as my training instructor is not a patient man..." It ended with "Do Not Send Packages. Do not send packages. If you send a package my training instructor will be extremely unhappy. Do not send packages. Do not send packages. My training instructors are treating me very well. Love Jason" It sounded like a hostage letter.
I could imagine his TI standing inches from his face as he read. From the slight hesitation in his voice when I asked him to repeat things and when I tried to confirm I had it all down correctly I think he had been told to say nothing other than what was in his letter. I hope I didn't get him in trouble. My first letter was in the mail by 5:00 that evening.
Oddly, this phone call did not make me feel more relaxed. On the contrary it sparked about 4 days of extreme tension and a flood of emotions that I was not expecting. I was excited because he sounded like he was already turning into an airman - it was really happening...something we had been talking about for over a year. I felt guilty because he was there and probably miserable, and being yelled at and forced to run a lot and it was hot...and I wasn't. I was worried that he hated it and regretted the decision... I was filled with anticipation for the end of training-I couldn't wait to see what he'd be like when it was over...or what I'd be like. I was concerned about how his stomach was reacting to the food. I was sure he needed me so why wouldn't his TI let him have a real conversation?
I waited and prayed and never went ANYWHERE without my phone. I wanted the next call so I could actually talk to him and find out how he was REALLY doing. I thought it would come over the weekend. They are supposed to get one 15min. call a week and the last one should NOT have counted...but I guess it did because despite being on pins and needles all weekend - jumping at any electronic sound (or birds for that matter) - No call came.
I was tense. I had a headache. My emotions were so confused I felt like crying for no reason. I couldn't sleep. I decided I could not go through the next 8 weeks in this state. That wouldn't be any good to Jason and it certainly wasn't good for me or Lucy. So I take deep breaths. I write him letters. I sleep with my phone next to my bed. I tell myself he doesn't need to hear my voice as much as I think he does. Whenever I get too anxious I pray...or run.
Today is the first day of "Week 1". Phone calls or not, he made it through 0 week...Week 1 probably won't be much better but hopefully we'll get to talk at the end of it. At least I no longer feel like a spring wound too tight and about to snap. I'll be able to tell him about Lucy crawling, and standing, and falling, and missing him (not that I didn't already put it in a letter). I can ask him a million questions about how he is doing and what he thinks of everything. I can tell him again how proud I am to be his wife and that I know he will do amazing...even if it doesn't feel like it to him right now.
...At least, I will do all that if the next phone call really comes....and if he is really allowed to talk to me. If not, I won't fall apart...I'll just keep praying and running, taking care of Lucy, and other details of life outside of boot camp. After all, that's my job. Just like it's his job to focus on becoming the best airman he can be...without worrying about what's going on at home.
This is harder than I thought it would be.
First you get to watch them being sworn in, then you get to say goodbye. Jason didn't drag it out waving and stuff, just a hug and a kiss. As I walked toward the door I turned and saw him walking away toward the back of the building. I waved anyway and wondered where he was going...and if he had something to do or if he just didn't want to get emotional in front of us and everyone else.
Then came the drive home alone, with the baby asleep in the back, and the waiting...waiting for the phone call that tells you he made it, and the one that tells you where to send your letters. Two calls came that night. The first was from the airport saying he had arrived in San Antonio. The second was to say he was being processed and would call later with an address. It was 59 seconds long. He sounded a little rough but he had been up since 5:45am and it was now after 10pm. I prayed they would let him sleep soon. I struggled to stay awake until 1am (midnight his time) but no other calls came that night.
Although I kept a pen and paper in my pocket at all times and the phone practically glued to my hand the magic call with his address didn't come until late afternoon 2 days later. It hardly sounded like Jason - he didn't get to talk, only read a letter that started out "Hello, this is Trainee Adams calling with information on how to contact me. Please find a pen and paper quickly as my training instructor is not a patient man..." It ended with "Do Not Send Packages. Do not send packages. If you send a package my training instructor will be extremely unhappy. Do not send packages. Do not send packages. My training instructors are treating me very well. Love Jason" It sounded like a hostage letter.
I could imagine his TI standing inches from his face as he read. From the slight hesitation in his voice when I asked him to repeat things and when I tried to confirm I had it all down correctly I think he had been told to say nothing other than what was in his letter. I hope I didn't get him in trouble. My first letter was in the mail by 5:00 that evening.
Oddly, this phone call did not make me feel more relaxed. On the contrary it sparked about 4 days of extreme tension and a flood of emotions that I was not expecting. I was excited because he sounded like he was already turning into an airman - it was really happening...something we had been talking about for over a year. I felt guilty because he was there and probably miserable, and being yelled at and forced to run a lot and it was hot...and I wasn't. I was worried that he hated it and regretted the decision... I was filled with anticipation for the end of training-I couldn't wait to see what he'd be like when it was over...or what I'd be like. I was concerned about how his stomach was reacting to the food. I was sure he needed me so why wouldn't his TI let him have a real conversation?
I waited and prayed and never went ANYWHERE without my phone. I wanted the next call so I could actually talk to him and find out how he was REALLY doing. I thought it would come over the weekend. They are supposed to get one 15min. call a week and the last one should NOT have counted...but I guess it did because despite being on pins and needles all weekend - jumping at any electronic sound (or birds for that matter) - No call came.
I was tense. I had a headache. My emotions were so confused I felt like crying for no reason. I couldn't sleep. I decided I could not go through the next 8 weeks in this state. That wouldn't be any good to Jason and it certainly wasn't good for me or Lucy. So I take deep breaths. I write him letters. I sleep with my phone next to my bed. I tell myself he doesn't need to hear my voice as much as I think he does. Whenever I get too anxious I pray...or run.
Today is the first day of "Week 1". Phone calls or not, he made it through 0 week...Week 1 probably won't be much better but hopefully we'll get to talk at the end of it. At least I no longer feel like a spring wound too tight and about to snap. I'll be able to tell him about Lucy crawling, and standing, and falling, and missing him (not that I didn't already put it in a letter). I can ask him a million questions about how he is doing and what he thinks of everything. I can tell him again how proud I am to be his wife and that I know he will do amazing...even if it doesn't feel like it to him right now.
...At least, I will do all that if the next phone call really comes....and if he is really allowed to talk to me. If not, I won't fall apart...I'll just keep praying and running, taking care of Lucy, and other details of life outside of boot camp. After all, that's my job. Just like it's his job to focus on becoming the best airman he can be...without worrying about what's going on at home.
This is harder than I thought it would be.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Today
Today Lucy crawled on her hands and knees for the first time. She's been army crawling for a month, and after dozens of attempts she finally managed to coordinate her hands and knees without involving her tummy. She went 3 steps (steps? crawls? Scootches?).
Today I alternated running and walking for 30 minutes. It was quite difficult, but not really as close to the near-death experience as I thought it would be. I think my goal of just running for 30 minutes is actually attainable after all. (like my alliteration there?)
Today Jason experienced his first full day of boot camp...in Texas...in late June. I have never prayed so much for one person in one day in my life.
Today Lucy decided that every item in the house (movable or immovable) is there for the sole purpose of helping her stand up and she should try them all. To that end she attempted pulling herself up with the help of a rolling chair, the corner of the dresser, the rocking recliner, the half-empty diaper box, the computer monitor, and the dog. I'm torn between feeling guilty and feeling relieved that she (only) fell and hit her head on the floor twice (once was carpet). Both times she recovered in under a minute so I think it was scary more than anything.
Today I went the whole day without eating processed sugar. I had a killer headache. I don't know if the two things were related.
Today Jason might be able to call me with his address so I can start sending him letters. I hope so. He's only been gone 34 hours but I hate not being able to encourage him in any way.
Today I decided that if we make it to the end of Sept. without any trips to the doctor (other than check-ups) we will be doing awesome. I discovered that Lucy is growing up in jumps not in steps so I need to expect the unbelievable. And I doubted she would try to walk before Jason graduated....but now I'm not so sure.
Today was a big day. And it was only the second one.
Today I alternated running and walking for 30 minutes. It was quite difficult, but not really as close to the near-death experience as I thought it would be. I think my goal of just running for 30 minutes is actually attainable after all. (like my alliteration there?)
Today Jason experienced his first full day of boot camp...in Texas...in late June. I have never prayed so much for one person in one day in my life.
Today Lucy decided that every item in the house (movable or immovable) is there for the sole purpose of helping her stand up and she should try them all. To that end she attempted pulling herself up with the help of a rolling chair, the corner of the dresser, the rocking recliner, the half-empty diaper box, the computer monitor, and the dog. I'm torn between feeling guilty and feeling relieved that she (only) fell and hit her head on the floor twice (once was carpet). Both times she recovered in under a minute so I think it was scary more than anything.
Today I went the whole day without eating processed sugar. I had a killer headache. I don't know if the two things were related.
Today Jason might be able to call me with his address so I can start sending him letters. I hope so. He's only been gone 34 hours but I hate not being able to encourage him in any way.
Today I decided that if we make it to the end of Sept. without any trips to the doctor (other than check-ups) we will be doing awesome. I discovered that Lucy is growing up in jumps not in steps so I need to expect the unbelievable. And I doubted she would try to walk before Jason graduated....but now I'm not so sure.
Today was a big day. And it was only the second one.
Changes...
I haven't written in a while, life has been full of changes over the past month. For those who don't already know, here's a quick update:
- Jason enlisted in the Air Force, scored AMAZING on his ASVAB, and got his number 1 job pick: UAV Sensor Operator. He'll be part of a 3 man team operating an unmanned aircraft. The pilot flies it, Jason operates all the sensors, interprets and relays information to the intelligence officer who decides what to do with said information. It's one of the newest jobs in the AF and one that shouldn't have to deploy since they operate the planes in the middle east from a box in say, New Mexico. He left for basic training yesterday. =(
- Our house in Lewisburg has been for sale for 2 months...no luck. Now it's up for sale or rent and we are hoping for a medical student (or 3).
- Lucy and I are staying in Huntersville, NC for the next 60 days....and we have big plans!
Day 2 of 60...
Jason has only been gone for 23 hours at this point. I am torn between desperately wishing we were together, and excitement over all we are going to accomplish over the next 2 months. It's never fun to be missing your other half, but it can present opportunities. For example, I am taking this opportunity to try and break my addiction to processed sugar (I am seriously addicted... mean like heroin...) which will hopefully kick some weight loss into gear. I am also working really hard to build some better Bible-reading and work-out habits. It's much easier to commit to a schedule for a *short* amount of time with a concrete end date than an indefinite 'New Year's Resolution' life-change-type deal. Those usually burn out in a couple weeks.
I think the motivation of trying to reach a goal while Jason is at boot camp, (putting up with an awful lot of crap for the sake of Lucy and I) will be enough to keep me on track for 2 months...and once you push through that initial difficulty you find yourself on the other side feeling better, looking better, and in the habit of living better (I hope).
So, day 2 of 60...Morning run and Bible reading accomplished. Processed sugar consumption so far = 0
*can't wait for Jason's call letting me know his address so I can write to him! Then I won't have to carry my phone, pen, and paper around constantly (even on a run and to the bathroom!) I'm praying that he is feeling good and not too overwhelmed.
- Jason enlisted in the Air Force, scored AMAZING on his ASVAB, and got his number 1 job pick: UAV Sensor Operator. He'll be part of a 3 man team operating an unmanned aircraft. The pilot flies it, Jason operates all the sensors, interprets and relays information to the intelligence officer who decides what to do with said information. It's one of the newest jobs in the AF and one that shouldn't have to deploy since they operate the planes in the middle east from a box in say, New Mexico. He left for basic training yesterday. =(
- Our house in Lewisburg has been for sale for 2 months...no luck. Now it's up for sale or rent and we are hoping for a medical student (or 3).
- Lucy and I are staying in Huntersville, NC for the next 60 days....and we have big plans!
Day 2 of 60...
Jason has only been gone for 23 hours at this point. I am torn between desperately wishing we were together, and excitement over all we are going to accomplish over the next 2 months. It's never fun to be missing your other half, but it can present opportunities. For example, I am taking this opportunity to try and break my addiction to processed sugar (I am seriously addicted... mean like heroin...) which will hopefully kick some weight loss into gear. I am also working really hard to build some better Bible-reading and work-out habits. It's much easier to commit to a schedule for a *short* amount of time with a concrete end date than an indefinite 'New Year's Resolution' life-change-type deal. Those usually burn out in a couple weeks.
I think the motivation of trying to reach a goal while Jason is at boot camp, (putting up with an awful lot of crap for the sake of Lucy and I) will be enough to keep me on track for 2 months...and once you push through that initial difficulty you find yourself on the other side feeling better, looking better, and in the habit of living better (I hope).
So, day 2 of 60...Morning run and Bible reading accomplished. Processed sugar consumption so far = 0
*can't wait for Jason's call letting me know his address so I can write to him! Then I won't have to carry my phone, pen, and paper around constantly (even on a run and to the bathroom!) I'm praying that he is feeling good and not too overwhelmed.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
A Picture of Parenthood
I've been meaning to write about Lucy's Valentine's Day painting for a while now, but kept getting distracted by other stuff...so here it is: A picture of parenthood in one painting.
On Valentine's Day Lucy was 3 months and 3 weeks old. I decided that a painting by Lucy would be a great present for Jason. Conveniently for us, Valentine's was on a weekday so he was at work, leaving Lu and I free to shop for supplies and do some art. Since it was going to be her first painting I wanted it to last forever so I got an 8"x10" canvas board and some acrylic paint (which I did manage to keep out of her mouth but not off our legs and clothes).
I had a brilliant idea for a picture.
I thought...
We got green paint so I could paint Lucy's toes and do little toe prints across the bottom of the picture for grass. Then I would fingerpaint a stem and use 2 little Lucy-footprints for leaves.
We got orange paint so I could let her dip her hands in it and (with my help and guidance) make a circle of handprints at the top of the stem for a beautiful orange flower. ...we might even mix in a little yellow to make it even prettier!
Of course we got yellow paint because what is a picture of a flower without the sun shining down on it? Some nice yellow handprints radiating from the top corner of the picture should do nicely....
It didn't turn out how I planned. I gave her the tools, but the picture is all hers (well, I did fingerpaint the writing for her).
She looks pretty proud of herself and I guess this is a pretty good illustration of how life is as a parent. You can make plans but in the end....well, you know!
On Valentine's Day Lucy was 3 months and 3 weeks old. I decided that a painting by Lucy would be a great present for Jason. Conveniently for us, Valentine's was on a weekday so he was at work, leaving Lu and I free to shop for supplies and do some art. Since it was going to be her first painting I wanted it to last forever so I got an 8"x10" canvas board and some acrylic paint (which I did manage to keep out of her mouth but not off our legs and clothes).
I had a brilliant idea for a picture.
I thought...
We got green paint so I could paint Lucy's toes and do little toe prints across the bottom of the picture for grass. Then I would fingerpaint a stem and use 2 little Lucy-footprints for leaves.
We got orange paint so I could let her dip her hands in it and (with my help and guidance) make a circle of handprints at the top of the stem for a beautiful orange flower. ...we might even mix in a little yellow to make it even prettier!
Of course we got yellow paint because what is a picture of a flower without the sun shining down on it? Some nice yellow handprints radiating from the top corner of the picture should do nicely....
It didn't turn out how I planned. I gave her the tools, but the picture is all hers (well, I did fingerpaint the writing for her).
She looks pretty proud of herself and I guess this is a pretty good illustration of how life is as a parent. You can make plans but in the end....well, you know!
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